4 Key Insights to Understand What Drives You So You Can Achieve Your Goals

With the start of a new year, many of us set ambitious goals: lose weight, start a side hustle, save money, or break a bad habit. But how often do we find ourselves struggling to follow through? If you’ve set the same resolutions year after year, you’re not alone. The good news is that understanding what truly drives you can make a huge difference in achieving your goals.

Like many people, I have goals that I revisit year after year, such as losing weight and learning new skills. However, I also have goals like becoming more generous, learning Italian, and being more spontaneous. To achieve them, I turn to productivity and psychology books that help me stay motivated and productive. One of the books that have had the biggest impact on me is The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, which explores different types of motivation. I’ve learned so much from it, and today I’ll share how you can discover what drives you so you can finally reach your goals.

Why Understanding Your Motivation Matters

Understanding what motivates you is key to unlocking your potential. Sometimes, the reason we struggle to achieve our goals is because we don’t fully understand what drives us. Are we motivated by external expectations, internal values, or a mix of both? Knowing your motivation type allows you to tailor your approach, making it easier to stay on track and achieve lasting success.

Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies introduces a framework that helps you understand how your motivation works and how to work with it, not against it. It can also help you understand others, improving relationships and teamwork. So, what are the four tendencies, and how can knowing yours lead to success?

The Four Tendencies: What Drives You?

The Four Tendencies framework identifies four main types of people based on how they respond to expectations, both external (like deadlines or obligations) and internal (like personal goals). Understanding which category you fit into can help you unlock the path to success and productivity.

Let’s take a closer look at each of the four tendencies:

1. The Upholder

Upholders respond equally well to both internal and external expectations. They thrive on schedules and routines, and they enjoy meeting both personal goals and the expectations of others. As an Upholder, you likely enjoy setting clear goals and following through with them. You are dependable and disciplined.

However, Upholders may struggle when faced with too many commitments, as they tend to be perfectionists. They may find it difficult to delegate tasks or say no, fearing failure or disappointing others. For Upholders, the key to success lies in setting specific, clear goals and being kind to themselves when things don’t go as planned.

2. The Questioner

Questioners are motivated by internal expectations, but only after they have thoroughly researched and justified them. They don’t follow rules or instructions without understanding the reasoning behind them. If you’re a Questioner, you value logic and evidence, and you will only commit to something once it makes sense to you.

However, Questioners can sometimes get caught in analysis paralysis, overthinking and researching without taking action. To overcome this, it’s important for Questioners to set deadlines and avoid endless questioning. Focus on what resonates with you and make decisions based on your research.

3. The Obliger

Obligers are driven by external expectations, but struggle to meet their own internal goals. They find it easy to say yes to others, meeting deadlines at work or helping family and friends, but often neglect their personal goals. If you’re an Obliger, you might find it hard to stick to your own commitments, like exercising or sticking to a diet.

To succeed, Obligers need external accountability. Partnering with someone who can help keep them on track—whether it’s a workout buddy or a colleague—can make a huge difference. Creating a structure of support and accountability helps Obligers meet their personal goals while still fulfilling their external obligations.

4. The Rebel

Rebels resist both external and internal expectations. They are motivated by freedom, autonomy, and doing things on their terms. If you’re a Rebel, you may resist rules and tend to do things your own way, which can make it difficult to stick to a routine or meet traditional goals.

Rebels are at their best when they choose goals they believe in and find ways to make them fun or meaningful. To succeed, Rebels need to connect with their personal values and desires and approach tasks in a way that feels empowering and enjoyable. When they feel a sense of choice and excitement, Rebels can be incredibly productive and creative.

How to Leverage Your Motivation Style for Success

Now that you understand what drives you, it’s time to use this knowledge to help you reach your goals.

• If you’re an Upholder, focus on setting clear, actionable goals and maintain a structured approach. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

• If you’re a Questioner, dig deep into your research and set clear, compelling reasons for your goals. Then, make sure to set deadlines to avoid analysis paralysis.

• If you’re an Obliger, find external accountability to help you stay on track. Whether it’s a mentor, a friend, or a group, having someone else to answer to can make all the difference.

• If you’re a Rebel, align your goals with your values and find ways to make them exciting and empowering. Approach tasks with a sense of freedom and choice to stay motivated.

Final Thoughts: Unlock Your Potential by Understanding What Drives You

Understanding what drives you is crucial for success. By identifying which of the Four Tendencies you align with, you can tailor your approach to goal-setting, productivity, and motivation in a way that works with your natural tendencies. With this insight, you’ll be able to stop struggling and start achieving your goals with less stress and more joy.