Living with anxiety is a challenge many of us face, and for years, I didn’t fully recognize the weight it had on my life. There were times when I felt trapped, overwhelmed by racing thoughts, and unable to shake the constant fear that had taken root. Over time, I’ve worked to better understand my anxiety, and while it’s still a part of my life, I’ve discovered ways to break free from its grip.
I recently read Unwinding Anxiety by Dr. Judson Brewer, and it was one of the most insightful and helpful books I’ve come across. His practical steps for managing anxiety have already made a significant impact on my own journey, and I’m excited to share the key takeaways with you. These steps have the potential to help you break free from anxiety’s hold and reclaim control over your life.
Why It’s Important to Unwind Anxiety
Anxiety is more common than you might think. Statistics show that anxiety disorders affect one in five people, making it the most prevalent mental health issue in the U.S. If you’ve been living with anxiety for a long time, you may feel like it’s just something you have to manage forever. I’ve tried various methods to help cope, from vitamins to meditation, but the most effective strategy I’ve found is creativity—expressing myself in meaningful ways every day. Still, there are times when my mind races, and it can be hard to quiet the constant stream of worry.
Wouldn’t it be great to break free from this cycle and take control of your anxiety? The steps outlined in Unwinding Anxiety focus on understanding the habits that fuel anxiety and how to change them. Let’s dive into the three key steps that will help you unwind anxiety.
Step 1: Identify Your Habit Loops
The first step in unwinding anxiety is to understand your habit loops. Every anxious thought or action is part of a cycle that reinforces itself. The goal here is to notice what triggers your anxiety, what habits or thoughts follow, and what results those habits bring.
For instance, I’ve noticed that whenever I drive my Jeep, I start worrying about it stalling, even though I know the issue has been fixed. This unnecessary worry leads to avoiding driving my Jeep altogether, which only limits my ability to do the things I need or want to do.
To break this cycle, ask yourself three questions every time you feel anxious:
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What triggered my anxiety?
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What is my habit or thought pattern?
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What is the outcome of this behavior?
By identifying these patterns, you can begin to see the cause and effect of your anxiety. Understanding your habit loops is crucial because, once you recognize them, you can work on changing them.
Step 2: Reframe Your Habits
The next step is to challenge your perceptions of the rewards you’re getting from these anxiety-driven habits. Often, we engage in these habits because we believe they provide comfort or relief, but when we pay attention, we realize the outcome is often the opposite.
For example, when I felt stressed, I would eat a large meal to numb my emotions. Initially, it seemed comforting, but in reality, I only ended up with a stomachache and guilt. The very behavior I believed would relieve my stress ended up making me feel worse.
With my Jeep anxiety, even though I felt it was safer not to drive, avoiding it only kept me from living my life as I wanted. The result wasn’t helpful; it was limiting. When you begin to recognize that your anxiety-driven habits are unproductive, they become less appealing. By reevaluating the “rewards” of these habits, you can break free from them.
Step 3: Approach with Curiosity and Compassion
The final step in unwinding anxiety is cultivating curiosity. When we feel anxious, our instinct is to avoid or numb those feelings, which only reinforces the cycle. Instead, Dr. Brewer suggests approaching these feelings with curiosity.
By being curious, you give yourself the space to examine your anxiety without reacting impulsively. This may sound counterintuitive, but when you look at your anxious thoughts with an open mind and kind attitude, you start to separate yourself from them. You no longer need to escape your feelings; you can simply observe them. This shift in perspective is powerful because it prevents anxiety from controlling your actions.
When we act out of curiosity rather than fear, we break the cycle of avoidance and create a space where we can learn from our feelings rather than be dominated by them. By doing this with kindness and patience, you develop a healthier relationship with your anxiety.
Conclusion
Breaking free from the grip of anxiety isn’t easy, but it is possible. By mapping out your habit loops, reframing your behavior, and approaching your anxiety with curiosity and compassion, you can unwind your anxious thoughts and regain control. While it might take time and practice, these steps can lead you toward a life with less fear and more freedom.